Divorce Help & Resources

I do not believe anyone gets married with the intentions of having it end with a divorce. On the contrary, when we choose to marry someone we step out in faith believing in our heart that this person can love us as God would have them to, and will always be with us. Yet, more than half of all marriages end in divorce leaving wounded hearts and shattered dreams in their wake.

The Christian community is not exempt, but rather moreso targeted, for broken relationships as the enemy of our souls seeks to destroy our lives. He cannot have our souls, which belong to Jesus, so he will destroy our homes, rob us of peace, and steal our joy. John 10:10

There has been much confusion over the issue of divorce for professing Christians. Many scholars have concluded that adultery is the only cause for Biblical divorce and this conclusion has been accepted as truth by many churches and subsequently, believers. However, a closer examination and understanding of the Scriptures proves this is simply not the case. Christian Divorce

This one Webpage alone (though there are so many who expose the truth of these verses being taken out of context) will let you come to understand what The Bible says about husbands, wives, submission, and mutual love. Wings

Abuse is now more prevalent in the Christian home then ever before. Please read this important article on what God's Word has to say about Abusive Spouses.

I personally believe that marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. I do not advocate divorce as a "solution" to marital problems. I do know however, our loving God did not create the institution of marriage to be a license for arrogant men (or insecure men) to belittle, degrade and abuse their wives in any way. Nor was it created for either spouse to desert the other while the abandoned spouse simply waits their whole lives for the other to return.

Abusive men will quote Ephesians 5:22 while they themselves break the first command to love others as Christ loves us. Ephesians 5:25 Also, they tend to leave out Ephesians 5:21 which tells married couples to be mutually submitted one to another.

Many a good Christian woman has been beaten, attacked, abused and even raped by "christian" men who use intimidation tactics on their wives, while the church has turned a deaf ear to their cries for help.

Christians who are serving The Lord know full well in their hearts that it is wrong for a man to abuse his wife and/or children.

Our good Lord blessed me with some wonderful free resources while I was enduring cruelty from an abusive husband. HE then provided the way for me and my children to get out of that awful circumstance (involving a Protection Order), in His perfect timing.

He still gives "beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning and peace for despair". I urge all women who endure daily cruelty by supposedly christian men or ANY man, to send for these free resources.

The authors are the publishers of the widely-used Christian daily devotional called, "Our Daily Bread". The booklets are part of the Discovery Series. Based upon Scripture these resources help readers gain a better understanding of the many issues surrounding Christians living today. More than 180 different Discovery Series Booklets are available.

• Abigail & Leah - Living in a Difficult Marriage
  
  
• When Words Hurt - Verbal Abuse in Marriage
  
  
• God's Protection of Women - When Abuse is Worse Than Divorce
  
  
• When Violence Comes Home - Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse
  
  
• When Power is Misused - Finding the True Strength of a Man

Divorce should always be the last resort for any marriage. Christian Counseling is a wonderful resource for women who have husbands who are not abusive or couples who both truly want to do everything in their power to make it work out.

Many spouses are not aware of how they are hurting and affecting their partners and destroying their relationships. Counseling along with Biblical conflict resolution has saved many marriages from divorce.

Relationships just in need of some TLC and spiritual help can absolutely be healed and restored! Saving your Christian Marriage! God is in the "people" business and has healed many, many marriages and restored them. Continue to pray no matter what, for our loving Father is always listening to the requests and pleas of His children.

If you are unsure whether or not you are in an abusive relationship here is a quiz to help determine if you are. How is Your Relationship?

A printable test for your marriage is at Are You in an Abusive Situation?

For women who have abusive husbands, marital counseling is not advised as the abuse often becomes worse and more severe at home when issues are discussed openly. An abusive man's need for power and the sense that he is in control is more important to him than how he treats his wife and family.

Only God can help a man who claims to love his wife and then abuses her or his children. He does not love himself or God properly when he mistreats his partner. You cannot "fix" him. Seek shelter and support from trusted individuals.

Women often feel vulnerable and scared to take steps toward a divorce even if they know it is the right thing to do in their particular circumstance. Finding the right resources and help is the first step in obtaining a Smart Divorce. You ARE smart enough to make wise decisions for yourself and children.

If you are in an abusive relationship call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The call is completely confidential and they have resources for your area that provide assistance to victims of Domestic Violence. Be sure your abuser is out of the house or even better use a payphone. These controlling men will use any evidence they find to further their abuse. There are many steps to take to keep yourself safer until God provides you a "way of escape".

The Lord does not approve of husbands abusing their wives - who vow to love, honor, and protect them - verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually. HE will bring justice upon your abuser in His timing. We absolutely have the God given right to protect ourselves and our children. We must also pray for these abusers because the saying is true that only "hurting people hurt people."

There are so many reasons people get divorced nowadays and abuse is just one of them. Our Heavenly Father instituted marriage to be a Covenant between the man and his wife. That covenant can be broken by either party long before a divorce takes place.

It is the individuals in the marriage that God cares for more than the institution of marriage itself. In other words, it is the SOULS He created that matter more to God than a marriage document.

In a marriage where there are control issues by one party, lack of trust, and safety issues have arisen, there is definitely cause for concern. Not all relationships, even Christian ones, are going to or were even meant to last. That is often due to wrong reasons for getting married in the first place.

Some recently divorced individuals are getting married again simply to try to "get back" at their former spouses to prove that they can get married again. This is devastating to the new spouse who is simply being used. Other individuals are getting married because of self-esteem issues. More people are getting married because of pressure from family and friends.

So, the REASON two people get married will have a deciding role in whether or not their marriage will last.

If Christ alone is not the foundation and glue in the marriage, the real motivations will be revealed in time. If your marriage covenant was made outside of God's Will, then it is not ordained of God and has a small chance of success.

Rather than regret our poor choices or past mistakes, we need to pick ourselves back up, dust off our feet, and learn the important life lessons being taught... and not make the same mistakes again! It is imperative to have our "red flag" radar on and use our God-given discernment that warns us to not go through with something we don't have complete peace about.

See if you can find the spouse who has broken their marriage covenant in each of the following examples:

1) A man who vows to love, cherish and protect his wife becomes the reason she fears for her life and stays up late at night crying. He threatens her, belittles her, and consistently tears her down emotionally. When she gathers up the courage to bring her feelings to his attention, he yells and flies into a rage.

This man has not kept his covenant to his wife and has broken it in the presence of God Almighty. Our loving Father sees ALL things that take place behind closed doors where most abusers only show their true colors.

2) Another example is that of a wife who vows to love, cherish, and honor her husband who just becomes "bored" with him. She decides to go out with several friends and they meet some men there. She and a new man hit it off and in time decides she simply wants "out" of her marriage. She may have children at home with her husband but selfishly files for divorce regardless of how it will affect her family.

3) The last example is of a man who has a loving wife and 4 children at home. He chooses to spend a week away on vacation with some old friends who persuade him that the single life is far better and he foolishly abandons his wife and family completely, leaving no trace. The wife and children are left devastated and after several years she seeks advice from an attorney to learn about a legal divorce.

These examples are sadly all too common. In some instances divorce is a heart-wrenching and terrible experience. Children and jilted spouses are left heart-broken. God can heal all wounds and is ever working out the plan for every Christian for our good. Roman 8:28

In other cases divorce is a wonderful gift that allows you to have freedom and enjoyment back in your life. You discover you can be yourself again and pursue things you enjoy without the fear of living with an abuser. There is a refreshing sense of peace and a new beginning for victims of abuse and for those who have been abandoned.

Whatever situation you are facing always know that you are not alone!

Divorce Hope

Christian Divorce Recovery Yahoo Group

Wings2Fly is a support site for women who endure and have endured abusive relationships and domestic violence. A Christian perspective including wonderful resources for all women.

Live, Laugh, Love Again - Surviving Divorce

Emotional Abuse and Faith
This is a Christian Blog I found helping those who have endured Emotional Abuse and sharing Christian understanding of the issue of divorce for the abused Christian.

Safe Place Ministries

Heart Website - Words Hurt: signs of unhealthy boundaries, verbal abuse, financial control, patterns of abuse.

Mens Divorce Secrets

Womens Divorce Decision

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